from 8.18.08

As I gear up for my 30s, I think fondly about leaving my 20s. The memories of my 20s are now lovingly characterized as a younger self that my 30-year-old self appreciates greatly.

Zoooom! What an exhilarating ride it's been - the cities, the smells, the weather, the relationships, the streets, the soundtracks - all of which make this life full of texture; everything falling into its right place. There I was, like it was yesterday, hoping that my ticket for this journey would begin as a college pre-med student. I spent countless nights laying in bed wondering what I'd grow up to become. Between all the schooling, I promised myself that I'd never let life pass me by. Each week would carry a good mix of work, play and dreaming. Potluck dinner parties, BBQs by the pool, late night bowls of wonton soup, lindy hopping, performing on stage, rafting the American River, lounging in front of Jamba Juice, meeting up at the Memorial Union, road trips up and down Highway 5, and, of course, lots of hours holding my head up studying. After college, I was ready to meet the rest of the world. 

The 20s, for me, were about trying dreams out, giving them a chance, taking a risk, not limiting myself to my own preconceived notions of the way things were supposed to work. If Peace Corps didn't work out, there was always New York City, and if Dream Job No. 1 didn't come through, there was always temping until I landed an even better dream job. Being boxed in was not an option; I was in my 20s, I could make nothing turn into something.

Sure, there were moments where I felt stuck. Should I give up my fantastic career in public health to pursue medicine? Did I really want to continue medicine after the first semester of med school? Colors started fading as control of my time dwindled. Gone were the days of museums, designing clothes, subway riding, painting walls and reading for pleasure. 

Turning 30, I'm standing here: A Doctor. I can speak the secret language of medical jargon with a thick lay person accent. Though proud of my new role, I have discovered that the greatest joy of all is knowing that I have a toolbox full of tools to affect change and that maybe I had these tools all along