Posted November 3

In the movie The Matrix Reloaded, Agent Smith tells Neo: "It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us. It is purpose that defines us. Purpose that binds us."

This quote weighs heavily on my mind when I think about my patients who are "lost" in the system of life. I think about the alcoholic who made a pact with me to teach me about his alcoholism. Then there are the two unemployed parents who have been on welfare their entire adult lives, raising six children without a single method of birth control in sight.

I try to make partnerships with my patients. As we shake hands on a deal, I look deep, deep into their eyes - as if to cement their promise and convey my seriousness. I drive home wondering if these people will have the drive and the will to live a good life.

If I am truly a cog in an architecturally designed wheel, the purpose that drives is the experiences of real people and the public's health. It is my purpose that drives me to seek and understand. But what, I often wonder, drives my patients to do the things they do?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about why my alcoholic/substance abuse patients return to their addiction when they're so tired of it. They are old, too old for the hard life of withdrawal and homelessness. They become regulars in the wards, where between the jail cell and the hospital bed, they rotate through our familiar hallways. For you and me, we go grocery shopping, take hikes along the coastline, pair ties with shirts, and go to our favorite spots to eat. For them, it's just us, the social service sector, the jail, and their vice. This is why we call many of our patients "frequent flyers" - people who keep coming through the hospital doors over and over ... and over.

I can't explain why we allow this to occur, why we put so little ingenuity on lifting fallen souls, why welfare can fail us when I see able bodied people work the system. Let's fix problems from the root causes. Let's educate and get educated. Let's volunteer. And for Pete's sake let's balance budgets responsibly.

Come on already!!